I have been baffled for many years about why it is that mental health workers, case managers and lay people frequently feel pity and sadness for children who live in abusive and neglectful situations, yet often express contempt, scorn and anger at the parents. Most would agree abuse and neglect is usually generational and the term for this is Transgenerational Trauma Transfer, as it is exactly what the term implies: trauma that is unresolved gets transferred to future generations.
When this happens, people often get stuck developmentally, many never successfully completing the first year of life attachment cycle. If they do not, they typically behave as children perpetually. They remain childlike in thought and action, as they attempt to get others to meet their physical and emotional needs, way past the point when they are chronologically able to do for themselves.
The concept of "The Child Forgotten” was developed to enable others to understand that when anyone is dealing with someone with unresolved trauma of one sort or another, they can expect the other to respond in childish ways, which is often extremely frustrating. 1 Corinthians 13:11 tells us, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”
Sadly, these Children Forgotten cannot become men and women until we help them though childhood. This is further compounded by the fact that many are walking wounded and have developed their own defense mechanisms for dealing with their unresolved trauma. While they have a desire to be helpful, their interventions are often unsuccessful.
Through years of working with birth, foster and adoptive parents, case managers and supervisors, along with my co-workers, it became obvious to me, with the Lord’s help and guidance, that what was needed was a uniform way of explaining this phenomenon and providing specific love-based suggestions for healing. Thus, the treatment model Treat PTSD with PTSD to get PTSD was born.
I am Leigh Anne Goldstine, a certified trauma specialist, certified domestic violence counselor, and a Board certified professional counselor.
Built to Bond, Inc. Attachment Institute promotes faith, restores hope and fosters love, knowing "the greatest of these is love" (1 Corinthians 13:13) because every “child” deserves to be parented from a love-based perspective that allows them to expe